1. Give your spouse the power to please you sexually and otherwise.
It’s really important that your partner pleases you and knows that he does. Many people withhold pleasure on purpose, as a way to control their partner, or get back at their partner. We learned this at a young age when we’d throw a tantrum to try and get candy or attention from our parents. Withholding your happiness until you get what you want will only get you a messy, teary power struggle where name-calling and blaming will occur.
For years, I used this tactic on my husband. Not just sexually, but everywhere. He couldn’t drive right, do chores right, have conversations right, or “loosen me up” in bed. How convenient that my satisfaction was all HIS problem and failure. Once I grew up about this, I made my happiness and pleasure MY challenge to solve, and then life…
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